I was doing some focusing with a friend who was due to get married in a few days’ time. He was feeling very apprehensive, not about making a huge commitment to his partner, but about standing up in front of a group of people and feeling vulnerable.
He and his partner had devised their own vows. To him the ceremony was all about being open-hearted. These vows brought tears to my eyes:
· I trust in your love
· I am here to be seen
· I bring my whole self to the marriage
· I ask you to support me in feeling my true heart
· We commit to creating space for the girls (while holding hands with their children) to be themselves.
· At the end of the ceremony everyone to join hands and feel connectedness with each other and the Loving Spirit. “I ask for your help in feeling my loving heart.”
Even though this was about being open-hearted he was feeling on his own – not connected to anything.
He had mentioned earlier about feeling the Universe looking over his shoulder. I reminded him about this and he began to feel connected to the Love all around him and aware of the Presence. He felt grounded into it. His body connected to the ground. His Spirit meeting the Presence all around him.
Then he realised why he had not been able to be open-hearted but on his own. He had been hoping that being open-hearted would bring that connectedness. But he was doing it the wrong way round. He needed to feel the connectedness first, then he would be open-hearted.
The wedding went very well and he very much enjoyed the day.